That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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