if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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