he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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