Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
