There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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