wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
