i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
