dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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