That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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