But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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