did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
