I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
