Are we in a gay sports bar?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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