Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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