Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
