Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
3pm strippers are depressing
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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