Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize