i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
