What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
