yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I need a beard to bite.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
