just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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