He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize