your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
