that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Less talking, more tequila
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
