That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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