After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks