Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.