My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
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He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.