new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.