this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?