What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
