I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
