just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
