there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
