Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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