you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
