I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
