Im at strip club and am horny
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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