All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
