he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
