I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize