Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
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Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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