i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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