gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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