Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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