Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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