Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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