You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
