Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize