i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize