I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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