so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
porn star boner night. come get it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
