just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
