I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
