There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
