My brain says no but my pants say off.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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