Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
