I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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