Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I touched a dick in church today
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
