I heard we made out
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
