Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
