Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize