No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
